Allways Theatre's 'La Sirena' sings better still



Sunday August 21, 11
by Alan Smason, The New Orleans Performing Arts Examiner

 Samantha Hubbs has written a musical sendup of horror films titled "La Sirena." Hubbs has hopes that her work could do for horror films what "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" creator Richard O'Brien did for science fiction films. Unlike O'Brien, who cast himself in a featured role in his work ("Riff Raff"), Hubbs has cast herself in the starring role as Marina, the opera singer known as "La Sirena." That may have been a miscalculation because Hubbs may be a better writer and composer than she is a singer of note, although the jury is still out on that one.

Hubbs immediately establishes the premise that Marina is an opera singer of renown. She is first seen in a flowing emerald green dress with a seashell mantle  emblematic of Botticelli's "Birth of Venus" augmented with fabric adornments that give the appearance of seaweed. However, she lacks any vibrato and uses head tones for much of her initial performance. Although her chest is more than ample, she does not employ it or her diaphram to suggest to the audience that she is even remotely familiar with the likes of Verdi, Puccini, Rossini or Bizet.

The action of the first act trods along slowly. Marina is both repulsed and fearful of her husband Giancarlo, played menacingly by Nino Mazzaro, who wishes to have her reshaped by the mad surgeon's knife. She will thus be a fitting entry for deviant sexual abuse at a festival dedicated for such depravity. After a scene with her egotistical, vain lover Richard (Ren French), Marina is kidnapped by Dr. Crane's assistant Azmodius, played by Richard Mayer.

Playing the role of mad plastic surgeon Dr. Trenton Crane is Vatican Lokey. Lokey is challenged to give meat to a role that is at best two-dimensional and his voice negotiates much of the muddled score as best he can. "Beauty is something I've forgotten how to see," he proclaims and explains in song how he "perfects" his subjects by removing limbs or replacing digits and other protuberances with his own accents. Even though his voice is strong, there is little in the way of harmony in the original music Hubbs composed on Cascio and bass, her preferred instrument. Musical direction is by Ratty Scurvics, who performs in drag and decidely ramps up the excitement level with his live solo play on keyboard and guitar.

Crane has turned his estranged wife Barbara into a freak bird woman with black feathers and beak to match. Played by Otter, she adds quite a bit of needed comedy to several scenes.  In one musical number she and several other victims of Crane's foul (or is that fowl?) play proclaim in song "You've Made a Monster of Me," perhaps the strongest song of the show. At times, though, their voices have trouble emerging above Scurvics' rendering of the score. Other victims include Missy Wilkinson as a stripper named Shade and "CokeWhore" as well as Iggy Ingler as an overly endowed centaur named SINtaur.

Jackie Freeman portrays TV reporter Stephanie Reynolds, who covers the continuing story of the missing opera star to its tragic conclusion.

There is also a subplot involving Persephone (Frances Rabalais) and Hades (Josh Katz), which attempts to link the mythical Greek underworld to the "hell" Marina is undergoing after her delayed transformation in Act II into one of Dr. Crane's surgically altered creatures. As a further link to Ancient Greece, Rabalais also portrays Medusa in Act I, but she is presented as one of Dr. Crane's freak creatures, not a living breathing Gorgon with the power to turn men to stone.

To call it a stretch for a musical sendup of horror films is paying it a compliment. If we are to believe this confused piece, the maniacal surgeon is reduced to a sappy lovestruck moron after Marina's alteration and is only concerned with winning the love of his diva.

Lest we forget, what made "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" so popular was not only its irreverant homage to science fiction films, but the fact that the music and lyrics were really good. The rock and roll pieces like "Time Warp" and "Hot Patootie - Bless My Soul!" went hand in hand with the plot, but there was no need to apologize to the audience. They knew it was a spoof and so they went along with it for the ride. This does not occur with "La Sirena."

Admittedly, critical costume changes during the review show did go horribly wrong. However, costume malfunctions aside, "La Sirena" does not achieve critical mass at any point before it sputters to a bloody ending. For a first effort it is not entirely without some redeeming features. However, in its present state, it needs to undergo the kind of severe cutting alluded to in key scenes with Dr. Crane.

Directed by Dennis Monn, "La Sirena" plays tonight (Monday) and next Thursday through Sunday at the Allways Lounge and Theatre, 2240 St. Claude Avenue at Marigny Street. Monn also designed the interesting set with Tory Ducote. Online tickets are available for $12 through Paypal here, while tickets at the door are $15.00. For more information call 504-218-5778.